How Precious - One of those God Moments

You know - it's been five months. In speaking with a counselor, it is normal that I have an anniversary of April 19, 2011. For every 19th that goes by, I check it off in my mind - another month. Another month that the kids and I made it. Another month that we were able to breath. Another month that good memories were made. BUT.........

I wish that I could say that all was good with me. But....it's not! There are days that I am not ok - I'm not ok! There are days through out the month that I don't know if I'm going to make it - afraid to take that next breath because I'm really afraid of the 6th and 7th and 8th breath that I have to take - just what if things don't get easier. What if I get to that 6th breath and I'm still just as scared and just as tired. SO I find at times that I'm afraid to breathe.

And then I feel so ashamed that I still have hard days - that I still have days that mentally I'm not trusting and resting in God. That the day came and I didn't think of one thing to be thankful for - that I got in the rut - once again. I hate that part! There are so many others that are at a much greater need - a deeper hurt - a longer struggle than what I have been through - and they are still smiling. They have decided that when the sun comes up in the morning, they are going to thankful that they are awake to see it and will make this day be the best day of their lives - and I am ashamed of my attitude.

I recently got an email from my Aunt Roz. And as she closed her email, this is what she left me with: I thought this picture of the Mother bird and her babies was such a wonderful picture of God’s protective love for us, so thought I would send it along as a little I love you, hoping you will find it to be an encouragement.